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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26240674">Where The Shadow Ends</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherin_jedi/pseuds/slytherin_jedi'>slytherin_jedi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo finally gets some friends because he deserves to be happy, Canon Compliant, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Eventual Romance, Finn and Poe get to be gay because unlike disney i am not a coward, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey is a mess, Slow Burn, Sort Of, forgive me for not knowing what to tag this, idk what all to tag this lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 09:01:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,733</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26240674</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherin_jedi/pseuds/slytherin_jedi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A year and a half after the battle of Exegol, the fragile balance of the Force has shifted. Rey, the galaxy’s precious Jedi, has disappeared, leaving behind nothing but disturbing rumors about what has become of her. Ben Solo, meanwhile, has just been brought back from the dead to restore balance to the Force, with the help of some of the very people he had once sought to destroy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So. It’s been what, nine months since all of our hopes and dreams were shattered by TROS? That should be long enough to recover from the death of a fictional character, right? Apparently not, because I’m clearly still not over it. On the bright side, it did motivate me to finally write something!</p><p>Also, huge thanks to my wonderful partner for helping me edit this and encouraging me to write!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Being dead had been strange. There were no physical sensations, and every thought and emotion had been muted and vague. Even stranger, however, was being <i>not</i> dead again.</p><p>Ben awoke to the feeling of something sharp prodding him in the ribs. He had forgotten what it was like, to feel things. Not just the poking, but the rocks digging into his back where he lay sprawled on the ground, and the pounding headache and the painful emptiness of his stomach. He groaned, though it was not much more than an exhale, his voice nearly gone from lack of use. </p><p>“Are you dead?” came a voice from above him. </p><p>Dead. He <i>had</i> been dead, hadn’t he? Because he had to. Because otherwise <i>she</i> would be dead. <i>Rey</i>. </p><p>His memories, once foggy, cleared in an instant. He sat bolt upright, eliciting a squeak from whoever had spoken.</p><p>He glanced to his right. The world was blurry as he tried to get his eyes to focus. Finally, they settled on a young girl, no more than ten, stumbling backwards. She clutched a stick in one hand, brandishing it like a weapon. Seeing the look of utter confusion on his face, she lowered her makeshift sword, her expression of fear turning to one of curiosity.</p><p>“Who are you? Where are you from? Why are you in our field? Are you a traveler? Did you fight in the war? Was it scary? Did you ever see a stormtrooper? I saw one once, he was talking to our neighbors and I wanted to go over there and fight him but my mom said I couldn’t and—”</p><p>Ben blinked, startled by the endless flood of questions. The girl was still talking, having discarded the stick to gesture animatedly with her hands. Ben coughed, trying to get his voice to work, and at last she quieted. “I… yes, I’m a traveler.” It was far less complicated than trying to explain who he really was, and what he had done. Probably the safer option, too. </p><p>The girl’s face lit up. “That’s so cool! Where are you from? How many planets have you been to? I never get to go places. Did you see anything really interesting? Did you meet anyone famous?”</p><p>A call from the house across the field cut her off. Ben couldn’t make out the words, his senses still disoriented. </p><p>“That was my mom,” the girl said. “I gotta go eat dinner. Do you want to come? You should come! You can tell us about all the amazing things you’ve seen!” She grabbed the sleeve of his shirt, tugging him upwards. He realized he was in the same clothes he’d been wearing on Exegol. On the day he died.</p><p>Slowly, he rose to his feet, swaying a bit. The headache was gradually disappearing, but everything else was still sore and stiff. It would take him a while to get used to having a physical form again.</p><p>His thoughts shifted back to Exegol. To the fight against Palpatine, to Rey’s death, to her coming back to life in his arms as his own life force faded away. To that kiss, the only moment of true happiness he had ever experienced. The Force, in that moment, in those few beautiful, glorious, tragically short seconds, had been balanced. Now, however… the balance had shifted. With his senses dulled, he couldn’t feel much of it, couldn’t reach out and draw it to him the way he should be able to. But something was definitely off.</p><p>He snapped back to the present to see the girl standing halfway across the field, staring at him, clearly waiting for him to join her family for dinner. He weighed his options. On one hand, the safest move was to leave now, before anyone figured out who he was. The girl hadn’t recognized him, but would her parents? Surely someone would. On the other hand, he needed a way off this planet. And information, considering the fact that he didn’t even know where he was. Or <i>when</i> he was. How much time had passed since the battle on Exegol? </p><p>His stomach growled, making up his mind for him. Yes, he could live without food for a while longer, but combined with everything else… And besides, his only real goal was to find Rey. Perhaps the people living here had an idea of where to start. He certainly couldn’t do it alone right now, with his connection to the Force still weak. You would think that being one with the Force for a while would strengthen your connection to it, but apparently he would not be so lucky.</p><p>Finally, he began walking towards the small house. The girl grinned at the sight of him following and sprinted the rest of the way over. Walking wasn’t as painful as Ben had expected, although he was certainly still sore. But the broken bones from his fall into that pit on Exegol appeared to have healed. </p><p>A figure appeared in the doorway of the house, silhouetted against the yellow light that had turned on as dusk fell outside. She smiled warmly as he approached, saying, “Tenna tells me she’s already invited you for dinner.” Indeed, the girl was still grinning as she set an extra plate at the table. </p><p>Ben looked around as he entered, but spotted no weapons, no sign of a trap. Instead, the woman directed him to a seat at the circular table and filled his plate with some sort of grain salad from a large bowl in the center. She sat down across from him, the child— Tenna, he’d heard the woman call her— to her right. On the other side, between her and Ben, was an old woman, her silvery-white hair bright in the warm light of the room. </p><p>Despite his hunger, Ben waited to eat, seeing that everyone else seemed to be waiting for someone to fill the empty seat at the table. The silence was uncomfortable, at least to him, until the woman spoke. </p><p>“My apologies, I should have introduced myself sooner. My name is Marna Baydran, and you already know my daughter Tenna, it seems.” </p><p>Tenna opened her mouth, probably to ask more questions, but her mother silenced her with a look. </p><p>“She,” Marna said, gesturing to the older woman, “is Ollena, my mother-in-law.” </p><p>Ollena nodded a greeting, but remained silent, looking at Ben as though she could see into his soul. He shifted in his seat, unnerved. This whole thing was reminding him of all the dinners he’d had to endure with his mother’s politician friends as a child, though this was far less formal. Even Ollena’s name sounded Alderaanian.</p><p>“We’re just waiting for my husband, Orith. He should be here any moment,” Marna continued. </p><p>As she spoke, a man walked into the room, grunting a hello as he sat down and immediately dug into his food. The others did as well, and Ben took the signal to begin eating.</p><p>Tenna, her curiosity finally winning out, resumed her earlier barrage of questions around a mouthful of food. “So what’s your name? Where are you from? How did you get here? Why were you lying in the field?”</p><p>He was hoping that Marna would scold her and save him from having to come up with answers, but she looked nearly as curious as her daughter. In fact, everyone seemed to be waiting for him to speak. </p><p>He had never been good at lying, much less when he had to come up with one on the spot. “I… uh… I’m from Chandrila,” he said, the pitch of his voice raising at the end as though he were asking a question rather than telling the bare minimum of the truth. </p><p>The people at the table just kept looking at him, waiting for him to continue. “Um… My ship… stopped working after I landed,” he said, stumbling over his words. “I made my way here on foot, looking for supplies.”</p><p>“And you passed out in the field?” Marna asked, looking concerned. Ben nodded. “You must have been exhausted. Eat as much as you want, and then I’ll see about finding you some transportation.”</p><p>Thankful for the end to the conversation, Ben forced a smile and returned to eating. His palms were sweaty; he was anxious from the conversation and still worrying that someone would recognize him. </p><p>The man, Orith, cleared his throat. “Hard to find ships for sale these days, ever since the war. But I’m sure you could hitch a ride on public transport.”</p><p>Ben shoved down the spike of fear he felt at the words “public transport” and focused on the opening to ask about the date. “How long has it been?”</p><p>They all stared at him. </p><p>“It’s just… I’ve been traveling around the outer rim for so long, spending a lot of time on uninhabited planets or in deep space that it’s hard to keep track of the date.”</p><p>Orith chuckled, and Ben felt a wave of relief wash over him. “Been away from civilization for a while, huh? I don’t blame you. Even a year and a half after that last big battle, most places are still crazy. Any government official that survived has been running around like an Endorian chicken with its head cut off.”</p><p>A new swell of panic surged through Ben. A year and a half? Had it really been that long? The conversation at the table had died out, everyone focusing on their food. Ben took the opportunity to feel for the Force again, but it was still shaky. Something still felt off, but he couldn’t figure it out, still slightly groggy from having just come back from the dead. </p><p>The five of them finished eating in silence, Ben making sure that he wasn’t the first or last so as not to be an inconvenience. Tenna cleared everyone’s dishes at her mother’s request, and Ben stood awkwardly in the corner of the room, not entirely sure what to do next. That was the thing about being Kylo Ren— he had spent so long forcing himself to fit that role that he no longer knew how to act or what to do with himself outside of it. </p><p>Marna, perhaps seeing his uncertainty, said, “You’re welcome to stay the night; we have space in the guest room.”</p><p>Ben shook his head. That was the opposite of what he wanted. He needed to get out of here as quickly as he could, he needed to find Rey. “I should leave. I don’t want to impose, and besides, I have something to do.”</p><p>Marna seemed about to object but Orith cut in. “It’s late, but if you leave now you can probably catch the last public transport offworld.”</p><p>Public transport wouldn’t work, but perhaps he could find a ship to take near the spaceport? “Alright, if you could just point me in the right direction…?”</p><p>At last, Ollena spoke. “I will take you,” she said, getting to her feet. </p><p>“No, it’s alright, I can go myself,” Ben responded, hoping to escape as soon as he could. </p><p>Ollena simply shook her head, put on a shawl and led him out the door. </p><p>They walked in silence, Ollena slightly ahead of Ben to guide him. It gave him the opportunity to really take in his surroundings for the first time since waking up. Whatever planet this was— no one had mentioned the name at dinner, and he’d been too afraid to ask— it was nice. Cool enough now to be comfortable, but the kind of cool that hinted at warmer temperatures during the day. The night was quiet, with the only sounds being the soft rustle of grass in the breeze and the chirping of some sort of insect. There wasn’t the loud bustle of the large mid-rim cities, and it lacked the constant hum of engines that he had grown accustomed to during his years living on starships. Really, he hadn’t spent much time planetside over the last several years, unless he was on a mission for Snoke that usually involved a lot of killing. </p><p>Even once they got to what must have been the town, things were fairly quiet, with only the occasional ship passing by. Ollena stopped just before they reached the small spaceport. She looked up at Ben with that same unnerving stare, as if she knew more about him than a stranger should. </p><p>It was another moment before she spoke. “You are searching for something. Or someone. I can feel it.” She studied him, and her gaze almost seemed to linger on the place where his scar had once been. “A part of you is missing.”</p><p>Ben was taken aback by the accuracy of her words, but was saved from having to respond to what she’d said when she gave him a handful of credits.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said quietly. He felt as though he should say more, but didn’t know what to add, so he just turned and began walking towards the spaceport.</p><p>A moment later, Ollena called after him. “I knew your mother.”</p><p>Ben froze. </p><p>“Not personally, of course, but I knew her. Everyone on our planet did.”</p><p>So she <i>was</i> from Alderaan. </p><p>“You remind me of her.”</p><p>Ben sucked in a deep breath. He couldn’t afford to deal with his past right now, but he also couldn’t escape the memories. He wanted to ask her more, and was preparing to do so, but when he turned around, Ollena was already walking back to her home. </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>- - -</p>
</div><p>
  <i>The days after the battle had been strange.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Yes, people mourned the losses of their loved ones, or the people they had fought alongside. But they considered those losses a small price to pay for a galaxy rid of tyranny once again. Their grief was temporary, for they had other friends, other family members. They had an entire universe to celebrate.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rey, however, did not. She was grateful, of course, that her friends had survived. She tried to match their excitement, tried to participate in the countless parties that often lasted until dawn. But she was tired. And more than that, she felt empty.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>For so much of her life, she hadn’t noticed the connection that had always been there. But now, after everything, the signs were clearer. The moments as a child when she felt an inexplicable surge of anger or sadness out of nowhere. The dreams that felt like memories, though they were not her own. They were Ben’s, she knew that now. He had always been a part of her. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>And now he was gone. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>So she did what she had always done: pretend. Everything was fine, she was happy, she was excited about the future. She was the hero of the galaxy, the last Jedi, their savior. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>She could pretend, for her friends. She could try to fit into the role the galaxy had assigned her. But, like the mismatched parts used to repair the Falcon, it was not a perfect fit.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>During the day, she was capable of keeping that false smile up. A mask of cheerfulness as she was introduced to countless celebrities and politicians. Not unlike the constant stony expression that Ben had worn under his physical mask, she thought.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It was the nights that were the hardest. They had always been the hardest, from the time she was a child pretending her parents would come back. Something about the dark and the quiet made it so much harder to pretend. The loneliness crept in, the worry about what her future held as all her friends went off on their own sinking its claws into her mind until she gave up sleeping.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>At times like those, she would sit up, occasionally pulling on the sweater she had taken from the ground on Exegol if no one was around to see it, and make her way from her quarters to what had been Leia’s office. She would make herself a cup of tea, and sit in one of the two chairs overlooking the jungle as she had done so many nights with the General.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It was a familiar routine, though the silence was new. So many nights they had sat there together, neither able to sleep. They talked about many things, but when everyone else at the base had gone off for the night, their conversations often turned to Ben. Leia would tell stories about his childhood, the few happy moments they’d had as a family. Rey would share what she knew about him now, the memories of his that she had seen. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>She remembered one of the last conversations they had here, just days before Exegol. Rey had said— no, promised— that she would try to save him. To bring him home.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>At that thought, she spoke. It was no more than a whisper, but even that was rough in her throat after days of not using her voice at all. “I’m sorry,” she said, the words quickly absorbed by the sounds of insects and rustling leaves off in the forest. Whether she spoke to Ben or Leia, she did not know. Either way, she received no answer.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m sure many of you are as confused as Ben is. I will explain nothing yet.</p><p>Also, I’m not sure how soon I’ll get the next chapter out, but it is in progress! I’m hoping to post it sometime in the next couple of days. How often I get chapters out is directly related to how much positive feedback I get so yknow. Maybe leave a comment or something. I crave validation.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hahaha remember when I said I’d have chapter two up in just a couple of days? Well THAT was a lie. To be fair though, it’s 2020. Time has lost all meaning. </p><p>I do apologize for the delay though. I vastly overestimated my time management skills and my ability to stay motivated for more than one day. But I finally finished this chapter, so here it is!</p><p>Once again, I want to thank my partner for being incredibly helpful with this and listening to me ramble about it for ages &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben stood next to his borrowed ship, clenching and unclenching his fists as he anxiously debated how best to go about finding what was left of the Resistance. Of course, in the year and a half— it was still a bit of a shock to think about how long it had been— since the war had ended, it had disbanded, the remaining members having spread out across the galaxy and moved on to new jobs. But rumor had it that Dameron was here, training up the next generation of pilots at the former rebel base on Yavin. He would know where Rey was. At least, Ben hoped he would. </p><p>He had been testing the bond every couple of hours, reaching out with the Force only to be met with a cold, empty feeling. No, not quite empty. It wasn’t the blank nothingness of death that he was familiar with. More like a shield, a mirror of sorts, showing him only himself when he tried to see Rey. Similar to the mental shields she had used to block him out after what had happened on Crait, though it was far stronger this time. </p><p>He was caught off guard by the sound of footsteps nearby, too caught up in his thoughts to have been paying attention to his surroundings. Cursing himself for his carelessness, he prepared to jump back into the cockpit of the ship when two figures burst out of the trees ahead of him. </p><p>“Hey man, I don’t know what you’re think you’re doing here but this is a military base and you need to have a permit to—“</p><p>The first speaker was cut off by the second person’s shriek. </p><p>And then Ben Solo, former Supreme Leader of the First Order, the most powerful Force user in existence, was knocked unconscious by a shock prod.</p><p>——</p><p>This was the second time in the past twenty four hours that Ben had woken up lying on the ground. At least this time he was sort of expecting it. </p><p>As his vision cleared, he realized he was in a small, dimly lit room. There seemed to be three other people in there with him, their quiet discussion ending abruptly when they noticed his open eyes. He tried sitting up, but was met with a shock prod once again, this time held threateningly just inches from his chest. His eyes shifted to the short, fierce-looking woman holding it. She glared at him.</p><p>She seemed vaguely familiar, and Ben searched his memories for a name to match her face. Had he seen her before? No, perhaps he hadn’t… but Rey had. Brief moments of her memories flashed through his mind: Rey and this person laughing, working on a ship together, Rey showing her how a lightsaber worked.</p><p>“You’re Rose. Rose Tico, right?” </p><p>Her glare only grew stronger. “Shut up, Ren. Why are you here?”</p><p>Before he could answer, someone else spoke. The traitor, the former stormtrooper who had left the Order. FN-2187. Though he went by Finn now, didn’t he? Whatever his name, his words chilled Ben to the bone. “Where’s Rey?”</p><p>Ben gaped at them, unable to respond as panic started to creep in. What did he mean? He had to know where Rey was, he had to or else no one did. And if no one knew where she was, and the forcebond was still cut off…</p><p>“Talk. Now.” That was Dameron, the person Ben had originally come here looking for, glaring down at him. </p><p>“I don’t <i>know</i> where Rey is,” Ben said, struggling to control his expression. He wasn’t about to let these people know how afraid he was. “I came here to ask <i>you</i> that.”</p><p>“What the hell do you mean, <i>you don’t know where she is</i>? She started acting weird months ago, then she went and disappeared completely and now you show up here after you were supposed to be dead!” Finn paced around the cramped room as he spoke. “You’re clearly up to something. Rey wouldn’t just leave like that.” </p><p>“Exactly,” Dameron said. He drew a blaster from the holster at his side, aiming it directly at Ben’s forehead. “So what did you do to her?”</p><p>“I didn’t <i>do</i> anything!” Ben responded, his voice rising in anger. Finn drew back, startled, and in that moment Ben realized that this was who he was to them. An angry, violent man with an uncontrollable temper. A monster. He paused, taking a deep breath. “Look. Clearly we both have a lot of questions. Why don’t you tell me what happened to Rey, and I’ll tell you what happened to me?”</p><p>Poe considered it for a moment. “Fine. But you talk first.” With his free hand, he gestured between his blaster and the shock prod that Rose was holding. “You’re not in much of a position to bargain,” he added with a hint of a smirk.</p><p>Ben could probably end them all before they could do any damage to him, with or without a weapon, but this didn’t seem like the time to bring that up. “Fine,” he agreed. “I can tell you now that there is no way I did anything to Rey, because up until yesterday evening I was dead.”</p><p>“People don’t just come back from the dead,” Finn interrupted, stopping his pacing to join the other two in glaring at Ben. </p><p>“Palpatine did,” Ben responded, instantly regretting it. Pointing out any similarities between him and the Sith Lord wasn’t going to help him get out of this alive. “But that’s not… this is a completely different situation.” </p><p>At their looks of uncertainty, he continued. “Yesterday evening I woke up lying in a field. I have no memory of how I got there, or of anything else since the battle on Exegol.” Force, he wished he could forget about that place. The way the darkness had felt as though it was inside his very bones, the cold silence in the bond when Rey had been temporarily dead…</p><p>“I <i>died</i> there. And I’ve been dead since then. I went there with no intention of coming out alive. I gave my life for Rey’s, and I don’t know what miracle of the Force brought me back but now I’m here and apparently she isn’t,” he finished. He was beginning to lose control of his emotions again, desperation evident in his voice. </p><p>His three captors exchanged stunned glances, their anger replaced by confusion. Poe lowered his blaster, although Rose kept her shock prod close enough to Ben to knock him out again if he so much as sneezed. </p><p>“What do you mean, you gave your life for hers?” Finn said softly, as if unsure of whether he wanted to know what had happened. </p><p>Ben closed his eyes, the image of her lifeless body still permanently burned into his brain. “She died,” he said, barely above a whisper. “She gave everything she had to bring Palpatine down. I was fighting alongside her, but I wasn’t strong enough. She had to end him on her own.” He kept his eyes tightly shut. He couldn’t let himself cry in front of these people. To show weakness in front of an enemy was a death sentence. “I felt it— the exact moment that she died. I could feel it through the Force.” His voice wavered. “I was badly injured myself. But for her… I could hold on a little longer.” He took another deep breath, struggling to get the last of his words out. “I gave her what was left of my life force. I brought her back.”</p><p>The room was silent for a minute, until Finn, matching Ben’s whisper, asked “Why?”</p><p>It took him a moment to figure out how to respond. Why <i>wouldn’t</i> he save her? She was the first person he had truly cared about in a long time. And perhaps the only person who had ever cared for him. She was his everything. And… “Because she deserved it,” he said, opening his eyes at last. “Because it was the right thing to do.”</p><p>The answer barely even scratched the surface of what he felt, but he wasn’t ready to share that with anyone, least of all these three. They may have been close with Rey, but Ben could not forget that they had been his enemies once. </p><p>Finn, Poe, and Rose all glanced at each other, considering what Ben had said. Their expressions ranged from shock to distrust to something close to acceptance. </p><p>“We’ll be right back,” Rose announced, nearly dragging the other two out of the room. The door slid shut behind them, but Ben could still hear their muffled whispers. </p><p>“—ridiculous. We know what he’s like.”</p><p>“—some sort of lie—“</p><p>“—trying to trick us.”</p><p>That sounded like Poe and Rose, their hurried whispers barely audible. Finn had remained silent, as far as Ben could tell, but he finally cut in. </p><p>“I think he’s telling the truth”</p><p>The whispering stopped. Ben sat there for a minute, ears straining to catch any more of the conversation, but it appeared to be over. He sat up, stretching his stiff limbs, and leaned back against the wall to wait. At last, the door slid open once more. Rey’s friends reentered the room, and Poe pulled up a chair to sit in front Ben. He let out a sigh. </p><p>“Alright. We believe you.” He shrugged. “Or at least Finn does, and I trust him.” He leaned closer to Ben. “So you want to know about Rey?”</p><p>Ben wasn’t sure what had convinced them that his story was true, but that was a matter for another time. He nodded. </p><p>Poe hesitated for a moment, as though considering where to begin. Or perhaps how much to risk telling to a former enemy. “Rey never really talked about what exactly happened on Exegol. She became an expert at dodging questions about it. She seemed fine when she came back. A little tired, maybe a bit overwhelmed, but hell, everyone was.” He stopped to think for a moment. “As time went on, she started getting more and more distant. Spending less time with us , mostly keeping to her quarters when she wasn’t working. We… well, we didn’t really notice at first. Everyone was busy, building a new government from scratch, trying to repair the damage that had been done to the galaxy.”</p><p>At that, Ben noticed Rose glaring at him again, her fingers hovering over the shock prod now clipped to her belt. He inched further away from her, casting an anxious glance in her direction before focusing on Poe’s story again.</p><p>“She started going off on missions. Jedi stuff, she said. At first it would only be for a day or so, but then they started getting longer. Three nights. A week. One of them was nearly a month.” </p><p>Poe paused for a moment, seemingly debating how to continue. “I’m not really sure what happened exactly. At one point she just kinda… stopped coming back. We’d still run into her once in a while on other planets, but even that stopped happening eventually.” He began fiddling with his necklace, a thin chain with what looked like a wedding band hanging from it. Ben could feel his hesitance.</p><p>“What happened?” Ben asked, more of a command to continue than a question.</p><p>It was Rose who spoke this time, apparently having decided that too much information had been shared to stop now. “No one knows. Well, there’ve been rumors… people claiming to have seen her. Stories of a Force-user doing… well, something. Some say she’s helping people, others say she’s attacking them.” </p><p>“We don’t know for sure if it was really her though,” Finn cut in. “I mean, who knows if the stories are even accurate. Rey wouldn’t hurt people” He sounded uncertain, as though he was trying to convince himself as much as everyone else.</p><p>The room fell silent, the people within absorbing the information that the day had brought them. Ben tested the bond again, scowling when he still couldn’t get through. Dameron’s story confirmed that she had made it off of Exegol alive, and even without any recent updates on her, Ben knew she must be alive. She was a survivor. So why wasn’t the bond working?</p><p>The others must have noticed the look on his face, because Rose raised the shock prod once more. “Thinking about killing us, Ren?”</p><p>Ben shook his head frantically. “I’m just… trying to get through to Rey. We used to be able to sense each other through the Force, but now I can’t get anything.” He realized his mistake a moment too late.</p><p>Finn leaned forward, his eyes narrowed. It seemed the interrogation had begun again. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Unsure of how to explain the intricacies of the force bond, Ben just said, “It’s a Jedi thing.” That wasn’t entirely accurate, as bonds like that were incredibly rare, but he hoped it would be good enough to satisfy them. Judging by their expressions, it was not. Ben sighed, adding, “We could see and speak to each other at times, no matter how far apart we were.”</p><p>A look of outrage crossed Finn’s face. “You used that to spy on us! That’s how the First Order kept finding our bases so easily!”</p><p>Ben resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “You should have picked better planets to hide on. The bond doesn’t work like that anyway. Trust me, I tried.”</p><p>Poe had remained surprisingly quiet throughout this exchange, but now he turned to Ben and spoke. “So this bond… You can sense Rey through it?”</p><p>“When it’s working, yes.”</p><p>Poe’s face lit up in a grin. “Great! We can use you to find her.”</p><p>“Did you miss the part where I said it wasn’t working?” Ben responded, the scowl returning to his face. No one acknowledged that he had spoken as the trio left him alone in the cramped room once more, this time with Dameron in the lead. They were quieter this time, and Ben was unable to pick up on anything they were saying. </p><p>Their conversation was shorter this time too, and they reentered the room in moments. Rose immediately returned to threatening him with the shock prod.“Good news, Ren. You’re coming with us.”</p><p>This was not something that Ben would consider good news. He had never been one for working with a group, least of all a group of his former enemies. But… with the bond still closed, he had no way of knowing where to start. Perhaps the former Resistance soldiers could pick up a lead, and Ben could find a way to ditch them later on.</p><p>“Fine,” Ben said. “I suppose I’ll help you.”</p><p>“You say that like you thought you had a choice,” Rose scoffed.</p><p>—-</p><p>
  <i>“Come in.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The door slid open and Rey stepped into the room, bowing before approaching the desk in the center. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Senator Vadrand. I was told that you were the person to meet with about anything relating to the memorial?” Rey asked, toying with the hem of her shirt. The fabric was smooth, a nicer material than what she was used to. She hated it.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He cleared his throat. “Yes. Your message said you had a request to make?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rey stared at her feet, still not accustomed to speaking with such important people. Although, she supposed she was one of them now. The savior of the galaxy.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’d like Ben Solo to be added to the list of heroes on the monument, next to General Leia’s name.” A look of shock crossed the senator’s face, and Rey hurriedly continued. “He fought against Palpatine with me. He’s half the reason we won the war.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The senator’s expression turned to a frown. “Kylo Ren is the reason we nearly lost the war. Even if he did fight against Palpatine at the end, it could only have been because he hoped to gain something from it. Do you expect me to believe that he killed Snoke for the good of the galaxy as well?” His tone turned mocking.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rey bit back a retort. How could this man imply that Ben had only done it for power? He had killed Snoke, killed Palpatine, for her. But then again, the galaxy didn’t know that. And Ben wasn’t around to prove that he had been anything other than a monster.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Taking a deep breath, Rey tried one last approach. “Leia would have wanted it. He was her son.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Vadrand simply turned around, staring out the viewport behind his desk. “Perhaps if it weren’t for him, she would be alive to back you up,” he said in a cold voice. He did not appear to have anything else to say on the matter.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>One of the two security officers at the door approached Rey, wrapping a hand around her wrist to guide her out of the office. She wrenched her arm out of his grasp, storming out of the room on her own. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>The galaxy was clearly determined to forget Ben. If they refused to acknowledge his sacrifice alongside the other heroes who had lost their lives in the war, Rey would have to find another way to ensure that they remembered him.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Not a lot of action in this chapter, but things should start getting interesting in the next one! I’m gonna be honest though, I don’t have any sort of schedule or even a vague idea of when it’ll be posted. It will happen though! I promise!</p><p>Also, if you haven’t already, I highly recommend that you listen to the song Where The Shadow Ends by BANNERS, where this fic got its name. While the song didn’t directly inspire this fic, it has very strong reylo vibes and makes me want to cry every time I hear it because it makes me think about Ben going to Exegol to save Rey. So if you have time, please listen to it so we can suffer together.</p><p>As always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Unexpectedly coming back from the dead like Palpatine to give y’all an update. </p><p>I sincerely apologize for the six month wait, I had absolutely no motivation or energy to write for a very long time. But I’m back! With more words!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The ship was a small, scrappy transport left over from the days of the Resistance. It was only designed for carrying small groups on short missions, and Ben suspected that this would be nothing of the sort. </p><p>He had been cuffed for the entire flight so far, which Rose had claimed would be two hours but was now bordering on four. They were simple magnetic cuffs, and Ben was certain that he could use the Force to navigate around the locking mechanism, but he dared not attempt an escape with Rose and her shock prod seated just a few yards away, shooting him suspicious glances every so often. </p><p>Besides, it was useless to escape the cuffs while they were still in flight. His only option then would be to slaughter everyone on board, and to be quite honest he would rather not have any more blood on his hands. No, it would be better to wait. Make no move to free himself until they were planetside, give the others a bit of time to let their guard down. Then he could find an opportunity to run, borrow another ship and find Rey on his own.</p><p>It wasn’t a very thorough plan, he had to admit. There were a lot of unknowns, and too many factors were out of his control. But then again, he hadn’t had much of a plan when he killed Snoke either. Just a split second where Snoke was in Rey’s mind instead of his, a lightsaber in the right place, and the first spark of hope he’d felt in nearly a decade. The odds were against him, but if he could pull that off, then he could certainly escape from his current captors.</p><p>He ignored the quiet voice in the back of his mind that told him how much he sounded like his father. </p><p>The sound of the ship dropping out of hyperspace broke through the tense silence that had been present for the entire journey so far. None of the former Resistance members had wanted to risk speaking to one another about their plans, and Ben certainly hadn’t wanted to share his. The three of them stretched and began gathering the few belongings they had brought with them, preparing to disembark. </p><p>Finn shot a glance at Ben. “Any chance we can leave him on the ship?”</p><p><i>Yes, please.</i> It would make his escape far easier if they willingly let him out of their sight.</p><p>Unfortunately, Poe shook his head. “No way. He’s coming with us.” Turning to Rose, he added, “Can you remove his cuffs? We’ll blend in better if we aren’t visibly hauling a prisoner around.”</p><p>“We’d blend in better if we didn’t have the kriffing Supreme Leader with us,” she muttered, but unlocked the handcuffs all the same. </p><p>Ben stretched his stiff wrists. “She’s not wrong,” he said. “Someone here is bound to recognize me.”</p><p>“We’ll disguise you then,” Poe responded. He removed the scarf he was wearing, handing it over to Ben. “Put this on.”</p><p>The dark gray fabric looked like it hadn’t been washed in weeks. Ben glanced at Poe, who was waiting impatiently, before grudgingly slipping the scarf over his head, pulling it up to cover the lower half of his face. “This is ridiculous. I’m not going.”</p><p>“Look, buddy,” Poe began. “I don’t trust you out there, but I <i>especially</i> don’t trust you alone on a ship that you could easily steal. You’re coming with us, and that’s final.” He patted the blaster concealed beneath his shirt. “And if you make one wrong move, I shoot you, and you never get to see Rey again. Understood?”</p><p>Ben nodded. </p><p>“Great!” Poe said with a sarcastic grin. “Finn, Rose, you two are on supplies. Evil Overlord here can come with me to find my contact.” He ignored Ben’s scowl, and turned to exit the ship, the other three following close behind.</p><p>——</p><p>The marketplace was busy, much busier than the one Ben had stolen— <i>borrowed</i>— a ship from. Square gray and brown buildings lined the sides of the dusty road, several with tents or tables covered with goods in front of them. People moved hurriedly up and down the road, rarely stopping to speak to others. Not a very social place then. That was good.</p><p>At a nod from Poe, Finn and Rose split off, heading down the road until they were obscured by the crowds. Poe nudged Ben’s shoulder, and he followed the shorter man up the main road before they made a sharp turn into a narrow alleyway. Poe led Ben along a series of twists and turns, and as hard as he tried, Ben couldn’t memorize their path. Poe had clearly been here before, probably several times if he could navigate the seemingly identical streets with such ease. </p><p>The buildings were closer together here, blocking out much of the sunlight. Fewer people lined the streets, with just the occasional booth selling weapons or rare animals or other items of questionable legality. Poe came to a halt in front of a squat building of dark gray stone. A tavern, judging by the smell of liquor. </p><p>“Wait here,” he said, ducking through the entrance. Ben leaned against the wall. No point in trying to get away now, when he couldn’t even tell where he was. A moment later, Poe’s head reappeared in the doorway. “I mean it.” Ben rolled his eyes, and Poe seemed to accept that as an answer, disappearing into the building once more. </p><p>Ben tried to remember the series of turns they had taken. <i>Was that last bit two lefts and a right? No, right then left then right again?</i> </p><p>Poe returned long before he could figure it out, immediately heading down the street they had come from. Ben fell into step behind him.</p><p>“That was quick,” he said. “I take it your source didn’t have any useful information?”</p><p>“That wasn’t my source,” Poe replied, annoyed. “That was the guy with directions to <i>find</i> my source. No more stupid questions.”</p><p>“My sincerest apologies,” Ben said, not very sincerely. “Perhaps if you told me what exactly we were doing I would have fewer <i>stupid questions.</i>”</p><p>Poe refused to respond to that, though Ben could sense the sharp bite of annoyance in his Force signature. It was strange, though; where someone like Hux would have been contemplating Ben’s murder after a conversation such as this, it seemed that Dameron’s hostility was beginning to soften. Still, Ben decided to drop the subject. </p><p>They stopped again at another building, this one just around the corner from the main road they had come from. Poe shot a glance at Ben before going inside, which Ben interpreted as “stay here and don’t cause problems”. He stood awkwardly just outside the entrance, hoping that this meeting would be as quick as the last. </p><p>The distant chatter on the crowded main road was interrupted by the sound of a blaster shot ringing out. People’s conversations turned to shrieks as three more followed in quick succession. Ben swiveled around, trying to determine what was happening without leaving the relative safety of the alleyway. He cautiously moved to peer around the corner of the next building up, locating the source of the commotion immediately. </p><p>The other two Resistance members, Finn and Rose, were exchanging blaster fire with a group of heavily armed aliens, who had them cornered in one of the small booths that lined the road. There were five in all; a Zabrak, a trio of Rodians, and one whose helmet made them impossible to identify. One of the Rodians wore an ill-fitting— probably stolen— black coat with a faded First Order symbol on the back. The sound of shots continued as the crowd ran in all directions, shopkeepers abandoning their wares in favor of escaping with their lives. Something exploded.</p><p>Ben glanced back at the door— no sign of Dameron. Either he hadn’t heard the commotion or he was trying to finish up what he was doing. Or perhaps he had been ambushed as well.</p><p>This was exactly the opportunity Ben had been waiting for. The group was divided, everyone was preoccupied, and the ship was just a few blocks away, if Ben was right about where they had ended up. Even if he got lost in the maze of buildings again, that was an improvement over being held captive by his former enemies. He took a few steps down the alley, away from the road and the noise and the smoke that was beginning to fill the air. </p><p>And then he stopped.</p><p>Because while he barely knew these people, and liked them even less… Rey did.</p><p>Fragments of memories, not Ben’s but Rey’s that had been shared through their bond back before either of them learned to control it, forced their way into Ben’s mind. Rey sitting with Rose in their bunks, swapping stories late at night and laughing at each other’s wild exaggerations. Finn teaching Rey to shoot properly, and Rey showing him in turn how to wield a lightsaber. She had fond memories even of Poe, heated debates with him about flying techniques and ship maintenance.</p><p>These people were not Ben’s friends. Far from it. But they <i>were</i> Rey’s, and she had cared about them. They had mattered to her. And she wouldn’t want them dead. </p><p>And maybe, just maybe, saving them would begin to make up for the countless horrible things that Ben had done.</p><p>Ben made up his mind.</p><p>And he ran.</p><p>Not into the labyrinth of streets where he could hide. Not to the ship.</p><p>But to the fight.</p><p>He left the shadows of the alley, charging through the haze of smoke filling the wide main road. As he passed a table in front of one of the nearby shops, his hand closed around one of the kitchen knives atop it. Finn saw him then, eyes widening in fear, shifting his blaster to point at Ben. </p><p>To be fair, Ben would react like that too if a former enemy was charging towards him.</p><p>Two more steps and he plunged the knife into the neck of the helmeted attacker, shoving them to the ground. The other four spun to face their new opponent, and Ben caught Finn and Rose’s twin looks of surprise from behind them. Rose recovered the quickest, shooting one of the now distracted Rodians in the arm. He let out a shriek of pain and dropped his blaster, Ben kicking his feet out from under him. </p><p>The remaining attackers now had their attention divided, two of them turning back around to fire at Finn and Rose, who ducked behind a crate. Ben summoned the blaster from the fallen Rodian, shooting him once to make sure he stayed down. It seemed that his grasp of the Force was gradually returning to its original strength. </p><p>Ben tried to shoot the attacker nearest to him, but it rebounded off some sort of armored plate he was wearing beneath the First Order coat, forcing Ben to duck. The Rodian returned the shot, and this one Ben managed to freeze in midair, keeping it in place just long enough to move out of the way before allowing it to fly across the street and hit a building behind him. </p><p>They regarded each other, both waiting for the other to make the next move, while Finn and Rose continued to exchange fire with the other two, missed shots flying wildly in every direction. One of them— Ben wasn’t sure which— finally took out the Zabrak with a well-timed shot, and he fell backwards, forcing Ben’s opponent to stumble out of the way.</p><p>At last, Ben managed to summon enough strength to shove him backwards with the Force, sending him flying into a nearby wall. He crumpled to the ground beneath it as a shot came from behind Ben, narrowly missing him, to take out the remaining attacker. Ben glanced back to see Poe lowering his blaster as he hurried over. </p><p>“What the <i>hell</i> happened?” Poe asked, glaring at Ben as though he had been the one to start the fight. The street was silent now, the scent of smoke still hanging in the air. Ben stood there, panting, the scarf he had borrowed from Dameron no longer covering his face. </p><p>It was Rose who answered. “Ambush. Probably one of those anti-Resistance groups, still protesting the end of the war.” She glanced around. “I think we’re all fine.”</p><p>“Thanks to Ren— I mean, Solo,” Finn added, glancing at Ben as he struggled with what to call him. Ben shrugged in response. </p><p>“So the prince of darkness <i>can</i> be trusted,” Poe said. “I guess this proves it.”</p><p>“This just proves that he could easily have killed us at any point today,” Rose responded. </p><p>“But he didn’t.”</p><p>“But he could have.” With that, Rose turned to Ben, waiting for an answer.</p><p>Ben grimaced. “I… yes,” he said. “But I didn’t,” he added under his breath, indignant. </p><p>People were beginning to return to the street, frightened murmurs breaking out at the sight of the five bodies. </p><p>“We should get out of here,” Poe said. “Don’t want to draw too much attention to ourselves.” To Finn and Rose, he asked, “did you get all the supplies?”</p><p>Finn nodded. “You got the information?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Poe held up a data stick. “I’ll show you on the ship.”</p><p>——</p><p>The walk back to the ship had been quiet, everyone too rattled from the attack to do much talking. It might have been Ben’s imagination, but things seemed slightly less tense than they had been earlier. Perhaps working together wasn’t such a bad idea. </p><p>Poe set the course and made the jump to hyperspace before joining the others in the cabin. </p><p>“So what’s up with the information? Do we have a lead?” Finn asked as he entered. </p><p>“I haven’t looked through it thoroughly,” Poe began. “But from what I’ve seen— and what my informant told me…” he shook his head. “It doesn’t sound good.”</p><p>At that, Ben tore his gaze away from the viewport to focus on Poe. </p><p>“There’ve been several reports. Most of these are old, from not long after Rey left us.” He paused. “It sounds like the rumors about the attacks might be true.”</p><p>Finn and Rose exchanged concerned looks. Ben wanted to ask for more details, but he was afraid of destroying whatever small amount of trust they now had for him. They had left him uncuffed this time, either due to a decrease in fear or, which Ben thought was more likely, their realization that he could kill them with ease no matter how well they thought they had him contained. </p><p>“Listen, we’ve had a long day. You three should try to get some rest.” Poe said. Catching Finn’s look of protest, he added “I didn’t do as much fighting as you did. I’ll switch with one of you in a couple of hours. Besides, there’s nothing we can do about this information yet. We’ll go through it and make a plan after our next pit stop.”</p><p>Another stop? They had supplies now, why couldn’t they get started? “Where the hell else do we need to stop? We should be looking for Rey,” Ben snapped. </p><p>Rose glared, her hand drifting towards the shock prod, but Poe held up a hand to stop her. “We need a better ship if we’re going to be spending much time on it. And it would be nice to have another decent fighter with us, if these reports have any truth to them.”</p><p>“Do you have someone in mind?” Ben asked, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. Rose was already plenty terrifying without him making her angrier. </p><p>“Yep,” Poe said, pulling something up on his datapad. “This might be the only thing that’s gone right so far. Chewie just sent me his coordinates.”</p><p>——</p><p>
  <i>She wasn’t going back.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>This wasn’t her first trip away from what was left of the Resistance, from her friends. She had gone off on her own plenty of times already, looking for… well, for many things. Answers, mostly. About her past, about her future. Sometimes she searched for Jedi relics. Other times, just for some peace and quiet. A break from being the most important person in the galaxy. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>But she had always gone back after. And this time she would not. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>She didn’t tell anyone. She didn’t think they’d be surprised anyway. After all, she’d been gradually distancing herself from them for months now. Nor did she think they would care all that much. They all had things to do, roles to fill. Real roles, that got things done, not just sitting around accepting medals and giving speeches. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>And they had lives to live. People to go home to. They were healing, the Galaxy was healing. They didn’t need Rey anymore. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>They still spoke to her, of course. Still invited her to spend time with them, still asked how she was doing. But how could she ever explain? How could any of them understand the gaping hole in her very essence, the piece of her soul that was gone but still ached like a phantom limb?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>She tried so hard to shut it out. Stopped prodding at the bond, stopped hoping for a spark of life from Ben’s side of it. Instead, she started building walls. Blocking it out, cutting herself off from that part of the Force much like Luke once had. Not the Force in its entirety, it could still be useful. But she closed herself off from the bond.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>She did the same thing with her friends. Began gradually shutting them out, avoiding first their questions, and then interaction with them entirely. It was preparation, she told herself, for when they stopped caring about her. Maybe it would hurt less this time around if she abandoned them first. If she didn’t give them a chance to leave her like her parents had.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Because, after all, Ben was right. She was no one. She was nothing. Maybe not to him, but now he was gone. He was nothing too.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hopefully I can start updating more frequently, but I... haven’t plotted out anything past the next chapter lol so we’ll see how that goes. </p><p>Kudos make me happy, comments make me write faster!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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